Melancholy, surprisingly melancholy.
School started today, and I am not there.
Yesterday I was literally giddy – literally giggling and dancing. I was so looking forward to not waking up early, not trudging my way to school, not sitting in endless repetitive meetings about how much money we don’t have and how much more we are expected to do.
But this morning, I woke I was filled with sadness. I am not part of the team – my team. I am not soon to see a sea of eager (and not so eager) faces of young people. I am not a teacher setting up my classroom for students.
For fourteen years I have woken up on the first day of school and called myself a teacher. Today, I just woke up. And thus starts my yearlong sabbatical to figure out who I am and what I have to offer this world. Where I want to be and who might want what I have to offer.
What I won’t miss:
Bureaucracy, the box that closes in and hold authentic education hostage in the name of standardized testing, an unsupportive administration that does not respect or value what I have to offer my school, countless unpaid hours of paper grading, beating myself up for not accomplishing the impossible, working in a largely thankless profession, sacrificing my life, energy, and opportunity.
What I will miss:
The kids, each and every one that would come through the door and bring themselves to the table. I will miss sharing the passion of language arts, turning non-writers into writers, young adults into poets, non-readers into a community of readers, those moments when the light bulb goes off and a child is changed forever, working with a team of students and watching them change the world, their communities, themselves, and each other, working as a team to create, present, and be part of this thing called education with both my colleagues and students, bringing students an opportunity and watching them rise to the challenge, laughing in the classroom, believing, transforming and celebrating, school breaks and collaboration.
What I am looking forward to:
Re-defining myself where necessary and finding myself where needed (outside a classroom), discovering my worth and connecting with others who would benefit from what I have to offer, learning, growing, discovering the things I have never had time for, and taking the time for those things, living slowly and peacefully, wandering around the globe, volunteering, visiting, and healing.
School started today, and I am not there.
Yesterday I was literally giddy – literally giggling and dancing. I was so looking forward to not waking up early, not trudging my way to school, not sitting in endless repetitive meetings about how much money we don’t have and how much more we are expected to do.
But this morning, I woke I was filled with sadness. I am not part of the team – my team. I am not soon to see a sea of eager (and not so eager) faces of young people. I am not a teacher setting up my classroom for students.
For fourteen years I have woken up on the first day of school and called myself a teacher. Today, I just woke up. And thus starts my yearlong sabbatical to figure out who I am and what I have to offer this world. Where I want to be and who might want what I have to offer.
What I won’t miss:
Bureaucracy, the box that closes in and hold authentic education hostage in the name of standardized testing, an unsupportive administration that does not respect or value what I have to offer my school, countless unpaid hours of paper grading, beating myself up for not accomplishing the impossible, working in a largely thankless profession, sacrificing my life, energy, and opportunity.
What I will miss:
The kids, each and every one that would come through the door and bring themselves to the table. I will miss sharing the passion of language arts, turning non-writers into writers, young adults into poets, non-readers into a community of readers, those moments when the light bulb goes off and a child is changed forever, working with a team of students and watching them change the world, their communities, themselves, and each other, working as a team to create, present, and be part of this thing called education with both my colleagues and students, bringing students an opportunity and watching them rise to the challenge, laughing in the classroom, believing, transforming and celebrating, school breaks and collaboration.
What I am looking forward to:
Re-defining myself where necessary and finding myself where needed (outside a classroom), discovering my worth and connecting with others who would benefit from what I have to offer, learning, growing, discovering the things I have never had time for, and taking the time for those things, living slowly and peacefully, wandering around the globe, volunteering, visiting, and healing.
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