A confession without apology.

And a promise to all my students.

I. Am. Not. an English Teacher. I admit it. I am not ashamed. I teach language arts. The art of communication, self exploration, voice. The art of self expression, imagination, action.

I don't care about dangling participles (there I said it), and I won't waste your time talking about them. If you want to learn that and that is how you think best, there is English Grammar 101 and it has it's place. But someone else will be teaching you.

Because I want to teach you to feel so deeply you are moved to think, moved to empathy, moved to anger, moved to action.

I want to teach you to put voice and words to your thoughts that you might connect with another human being, sway the world in your direction, stand up for injustices, declare love and joy, and understand yourself better.

Language arts is about thinking critically, reading the world, and jumping into imagination with both hands waving in the air. It is grounding yourself in reality and seeing a host of possibilities. Then finding the right words, putting them in the right order, and presenting them to the best audience.

Knowing a gerund will not change the world. You must know genre, audience, and purpose. You must put voice to idea. You must risk thinking and feeling and doing.

You must risk losing yourself in a novel: weeping in front of strangers when the protagonist dies in the arms of his lover, squealing out loud when antagonist narrowly escapes the car crash or staying up all night to see how the fantasy world plays out.

Language arts is reading non-fiction to learn what you don't know, going deeper than the surface and questioning what you read, the status quo, authority.

Language arts is putting it all on the line: heart, mind, and knowledge.

Do you want to be ready for a test or do you want to be ready for life?

Schools fear it.

Students crave it.

The Millar Experience.

There is nothing common about it!

My first day in Kenya.

I wish I were Nikki Jones.

If I were, I'd already be surrounded by friends I just met and having amazing adventures right out of the gate. Living life to the fullest and sharing snippets on Facebook for the my friends to see. I would be confident and bold and step out of my comfort zone (which is her comfort zone) to take life by the horns.

Opportunity would unfold in front of me and I would pick the moments that worked and ride the ride until the next magic moment arrived. Jumping from carousel to carousel on all the painted ponies. Mountains wouldn't dare be hidden by clouds and the sun wouldn't dare not shine. The carpet of adventure and discovery would simply roll out in front of me and I would go.

But instead I am me. Waking up on my first morning in Kenya. Unsure how to work the shower and not looking forward to the cold spray, wishing I had a jacket and hat because it is cold here. WHY is it cold here in Kenya? I am dreaming of an over sized sweatshirt to wrap myself in. I thought I was trading cold for warmth. But I was wrong. I also digress.

I am a side kick, a right hand man, a compadre. I am not a leader, and in unfamiliar settings I become even more quiet, I am good at following or doing without, making due. This makes me an easy traveler. I do not need much. I will not impose. But there is more to traveling then simply going along. I guess it is a good life lesson for me. Aware of who I am and pushing myself towards more. I

have a place. Even the Nikki Jones' of the world need side kicks. And it is only my first day. I know I need to breathe, settle, become accustom, work through culture shock and the devil that says I can't do this, that I am not enough. I can discover, remedy, and be. I can push through.

Besides. Nikki Jones would not want me wishing I were her. She would remind me how amazing I am in my own right and the awesome things that I have done. She would talk about my adventurous spirit and willingness to take a risk and be all in. She would remind me I am in Kenya working with a home of beautiful young girls that have survived a world of ugliness much too young. Not all magic comes with bells and whistles. Sometimes it comes with a simple smile and a willingness to show up.

I think of Nikki tonight as she finishes up her Nepal adventure and heads to Cambodia, a new ancient land filled with its own magic moments. I am so grateful to have her as an inspiration and friend.

I look forward to being your side kick one day Nikki. May you travel in peace, safety, good health, and with grand adventure, and I will do the same. And we both end up stateside again, I look forward to sharing a beverage and swapping our stories.

Airport waiting.

Airports are an interesting scope of humanity. I suppose some level of privilege or wealth is assumed, one is flying internationally, but still, all faces and shapes and colors and accents and languages are represented. Families, lovers, friends, young and old traversing a transportation system as part of their life's story. A thousand stories of love and loss and opportunity, joy and grief, hope and tragedy.

25 hours after I embarked, I am waiting for the flight to Nairobi to board. So far, I am the only white face getting on the plane. It is an interesting and beautiful feeling. I can not take anything for granted. I am not one of the same. I really know nothing of this place I will go or the people I will meet. Except that we share a human experience. There will be stories to share, moments to feel, bread to break, and sights to see.

One more white face. Two. Both men. What is it for a woman to travel alone? What is it for me to travel half way around the world to embed myself in a community and explore a new culture?

Right now, I am more excited then nervous. Anything is possible.

The news. The ugly stories, acts of violence and terrorism are possible anytime, anywhere, but no matter how engulfed, there is beauty, magic, and love. People doing right and loving one another. Sharing and caring and doing the best they can. It is real, but I can not be afraid. I take a deep breathe and look at all the beautiful shades of brown surrounding me and smile.

And across the aisle, laughter breaks the hushed tones of weary travelers waiting.

You must be so excited, says everyone I tell. I am going to East Africa for two months this winter.

And I am, but the nerves are there as well, running equal power with excitement. I do not take it lightly. Traveling half way around the world to a country with some civil unrest to volunteer my time with women and people in crisis.

Although I travel quite a bit. I would not consider myself an expert or a natural, but I go. I go because it challenges me to be more, to risk, to move through fear, to be amazed and in awe. Travel to other lands moves me to be immersed in something so outside of myself and quintessentially human at the same time. It makes me a better human. A better me.

I will spend three weeks in Nairobi, Kenya at a women's crisis center and one week at an IDP (refugee) camp. I am working with a local NGO and taking journals donated by a friend. Art for recovery.

The next four weeks I will stay at Hostel Hoff in Moshi, Tanzania hopefully working in the dirt with a sustainable farm operation. Between by shifts, I will explore the natural wonders.

I travel with minimum expectation. I do not want to put East Africa in a box, but be open for what may happen. I expect great things in nature, in human connection, in self discovery. I anticipate with pure joy watching a giraffe in it's element. I am honored to walk the soil of the most ancient lands and recognize Africa as the Motherland.

I pray (and invite you as well) for safety, health, connection and friendship, opportunity and wonder. That I am in the right places at the right time to engage with the miracles spirit brings forth. That I am bold and confident and reach out as needed. That I have the eyes and heart to be all in, even if culture shock and a draw for home pulls me out of the moment. That I can be of genuine service that is reciprocal and sincere. I pray to be humble and amazed. I pray for those I leave behind and appreciate their prayers and positive thoughts. And I pray for those I will soon meet.

Today I begin my journey.

Dec. 6, 2014